In the “Let’s Be Clear” series, we are teaching what the Bible clearly says on controversial topics regarding the Church today. The big idea for this series is this: Clarity is the answer to confusion.
Week three brought us to the topic of marriage, unveiling the big idea that God designed marriage in a specific way for His glory and our good.
Sermon Recap: Understanding God’s Design for Marital Flourishing
Our text for this week is Ephesians 5:22-32, but let’s begin by looking at verses 22-25:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Ephesians 5 frames marriage as a metaphor for our relationship to Jesus Christ. I want you to see clearly that marriage is not ultimate. While marriage is significant, it is not ultimate—Christ and His people hold that position. If you’re single (like Jesus or Paul, for example!), in Christ, you already have the reality of the relationship that marriage points to! That said, the relationship between Christ and the Church is pervasive in how marriage is supposed to work.
In the dance of marriage, God’s design is clear: husbands lead, and wives follow. In this pattern, the man and woman aren’t stepping all over each other! They’re following a pattern where the husband’s leadership is characterized by sacrificial love, aiming for the flourishing of the wife. Headship involves authority, but it is never grounds for abuse. It must be exercised for the goodness, holiness, and flourishing of the wife! As a response, the wife is not only willing but truly glad to follow and help him.
In the Bible, women are called to submission, but men are called to sacrifice. Look at 25-28:
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
Think back to the picture of Christ and the Church. The Church has no problem following Christ. Why? Because He laid His life down for the church! He sacrificed Himself and died on the cross for the Church. Husbands, this is the model! The focus of this leadership and authority must be her physical, spiritual, and emotional flourishing. Look at verses 26 and 27:
“that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
Husbands are called to emulate Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church, presenting their wives in splendor, without spot or wrinkle. Husbands do everything in their power to ensure their wife’s holiness. Wives are called to submission, but husbands are called to sacrifice; this is the dance that God has designed, and everything He’s designed is good!
Application: Glorify God in Joyfully Taking on Your Role in Marriage
The primary question in marriage is, “Who has the authority to shape what this is supposed to look like?” The answer unequivocally is God. Both husbands and wives are called to joyfully embrace their roles in marriage, seeking to glorify God.
For husbands:
• Prioritize meeting your wife’s needs before yours.
• Set her life up for friendship and spiritual growth.
• Make your wife’s health a priority.
• Avoid burdening her shoulders excessively.
• Ensure your wife knows she takes precedence even over the kids.
For wives:
• Communicate your support and belief in your husband.
• Assure him that failure is not fatal, and you’ll be there to help him up.
• Avoid constant negativity towards your husband’s endeavors.
Whether your marriage is flourishing or facing challenges, the focal point remains Jesus Christ. His selfless love empowers us to emulate the same in our marriages. In times of difficulty, turn to Christ for the strength to break the cycle, declaring, “I’ll be unto you as Christ has been to me.” Look to Jesus, find power in the gospel, and lay down your life for your spouse. Thriving, beautiful marriages reflecting the gospel are achievable within God’s design!
– Andrew Hopper (Lead Pastor)
Watch the full sermon from week three here!
Additional Resources:
Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage by Rob Green
A resource to help engaged couples prepare well for marriage.
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy and Kathy Keller
Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp
New Growth Press Minibooks that address various struggles affecting marriages
These short books offer initial counsel for addressing various struggles that may be affecting your marriage.
