Dark circles under your eyes. Hair that hasn’t been washed in a week. Four-day-old groutfit. Bloodshot eyes. If you are displaying these symptoms, chances are you’ve come down with a case of “Finals,” You can’t remember the last time you got more than four hours of sleep. You’re practically in a relationship with a whiteboard and your laptop based on the amount of time you’ve spent with them.
You find yourself asking the following questions:
- Do I have friends anymore?
- Do my college professors hate me?
- Can we arrest whoever came up with APA, Chicago, or MLA style?
- Can I drop out of school?
- What if I have to live in my parents’ basement after I fail all these exams?
- Jesus, can you please just return or call me home before *insert hardest final*?
- Will I ever use any of this information again? Yes, it will always be of utmost importance that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Even if you can’t do your taxes.
If your physical appearance didn’t already tell us you had it bad, asking yourself any or all of these questions lets us know that you’ve got “Finals”. Don’t worry though! Even though the symptoms seem terrible, we have a cure.
There are a few possible cures for your case of “Finals.” But the one we have found most effective in our time as Collegiate Spiritual Healthcare Professionals is what we call “The Study Break.”
We know that at first you will hear this and have an aversion to “The Study Break.” You’ll tell us that what you need to do is study more. You’ll buy another pint of ice cream and eat it alone in your dorm room to avoid your overwhelming thoughts of failure. You’ll binge watch Grey’s Anatomy to numb your mind from everything you need to get done. Our team of Collegiate Spiritual Healthcare Professionals has seen it all, and we agree that you need “The Study Break.”
Rather than being alone in your dorm room reminiscing on high school when exams weren’t as hard or distracting yourself from your case of “Finals,” you need to be with other people who love you, are currently showing symptoms of “Finals,” or have survived “Finals.” You need half an hour to just unwind, enjoy community, and have some FREE FOOD and GIVEAWAYS. Yes, FREE.
So, this Sunday, when your case of “Finals” is at its worst, the Collegiate Spiritual Healthcare Professionals of Mercy Hill are giving you “The Study Break.” After the 11:00 am service at our Clifton Road Campus or the 5:00 pm service at our Regional Campus, we will bring a cure for your “Finals.” You might not make it otherwise.
For more information on “Finals” and how to leverage it for the glory of God, check out this blog.
-Collegiate Spiritual Healthcare Professionals of Mercy Hill